


Perfection

by RieSonomura



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Asexual KOS-MOS, Banter, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Interracial By Fantasy Standards, Interracial Relationship, Memes, Modest Orgasm, Rare Pairings, Sequel, Sexual Content, Smut, Snark, Speculative Smash Fic, T-elos has her XC2 appearance sans core crystal fyi, T-elos swears like a sailor, Tsunderes, again i guess, also T-elos calls KOS-MOS a dingus, and also the ice to her fire, and so...they were STILL both switches, but Sephiroth refuses to say anything worse than the word crap, come for the smut stay for the quality interactions, damn i love this dynamic its perfect, he's the M to her S, i hope i represented that tactfully btw, in that one or more characters haven't been confirmed playable yet, kind of? in their own villain/villain tsundere-ish ways, my mans Seph also roastin EVERYBODY, or Kuudere i guess? seph seems more like a type 1 kuudere, slight crack, use of alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:40:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29131185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RieSonomura/pseuds/RieSonomura
Summary: Follow-up to "Curiosity". The two villains who ended up rooming together successfully seduce one another, and realize they're the only thing keeping each other sane in Smash City. Because perfection... attracts perfection.
Relationships: Ahri (League of Legends) & Hakurei Reimu, Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII)/T-elos (Xenosaga)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Perfection

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so uhhhh  
> Here’s that followup to the Sephlos fic, Curiosity, that I posted in early January this year… picking up RIGHT where it left off ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
> Warnings: SMUT. Not too explicit but still. Also swearing and some alcohol use, very slight crack (read: I slipped in some memes), and some headcanon-y stuff.  
> Also obligatory copyrights: Crash Bandicoot © Activision Blizzard, T-elos © Bandai Namco, Reimu Hakurei © ZUN & Team Shanghai Alice, Ahri © Riot Games

**_Perfection_ **

“Now, where were we…?”

They were finally alone, hopefully with no more interruptions now that the door to their apartment was locked.

“Oh… that’s right.” T-elos murmured seductively as she wrapped one arm around Sephiroth’s bare back, pressed her breasts against his chest and softly stroked that sinfully handsome face of his with her other hand. “ _Now I remember._ ”

“Of course,” the elite SOLDIER chuckled. “Apologies for that little… distraction.”

“I might just have to _punish_ you a little for that.” T-elos winked.

“I wonder what that could mean.” Immediately after that, their lips met in a passionate kiss, both of her arms stroking his back, as one of his hands gripped her ass, eliciting a soft moan from her lips.

God, her lips felt so… soft against his. Her scent, the taste of her lips, the softness of her skin, _everything_ about her… it was so intoxicating. He wanted more.

His other arm eventually hoisted her up by her hips, which she proceeded to press against his, both regions still fully clothed. Unexpectedly, he broke the kiss only to bring his lips to the nape of her neck. She shuddered in desire as she felt his breath on her skin.

_Yes… this is what I’ve wanted…_

“Getting goosebumps, I see… I must be doing something right.” He teasingly gripped her left thigh, making T-elos gasp.

_I… guess I should actually **thank** the person who programmed my AI… I get to feel everything… including **this**. Fuck, it’s so exquisite._

“Hmm?” Sephiroth asked the cyborg-android. “Speechless already…?”

“Mmmmh… who… do you take me for…?” T-elos retorted, moaning in between. “You haven’t even… received your punishment yet… come here…!”

The two collapsed to the nearby bed, with her pinning him to the bed underneath her.

“… _oh._ ” The silver-haired swordsman murmured, pleasantly surprised. “Taking the lead, I see?”

“It’s time for your punishment~” T-elos purred, leaning over to him and kissing him passionately on the lips, stroking his chiseled torso while he ran his hands up her abdomen and grabbed one of her breasts.

“Ah…” T-elos gasped. “Like you said earlier: _two can play that game._ ” She moved her lips to the nape of his neck this time.

“Yes…” The elite SOLDIER sighed blissfully. God, this was like _music_ to T-elos’s ears. How could his rapturous sighs be so _sexy?_ She caught a glimpse of his face: his eyelids fluttering, a soft grin on his lips, a slight blush on his face, his body temperature slowly rising.

 _God. DAMN. Why, Sephiroth? Why must you be so fucking **perfect?** _She chuckled. _Well, of course. Because perfection… attracts perfection. It’s not rocket science._

Her lips eventually traveled to his chest, square above where she felt his heartbeat, prompting a brief moan from his lips as he trembled slightly. _She really knows how to press all my buttons… I suppose this is payback for when I did the same to her._ As he felt her lips move down his abdomen, he gripped the bedsheet as his breath hitched. _But… if this is her idea of “punishment”… I’d **gladly** be at her mercy._

 _Oh my God, stop,_ T-elos thought, seeing Sephiroth clearly enjoying every last second of her “punishment”. _Would you stop being so damn **fine**? Seeing you in the throes of ecstasy like this when I’m barely even doing anything… ugh… this itch of mine really needs scratching…!_

“Mmmmm… hmmm?” Sephiroth noticed that T-elos stopped what she was doing to him. “I was expecting something a bit more… intense for a punishment.” Noticing the hot and bothered expression on her face, he inquired, “Is there… something on my face?”

“UGH!” T-elos bellowed. “Just take me _now_ , you utterly _perfect_ asshole!”

“Heh. Thought you’d never ask.” He rolled over, this time pinning her beneath him. “Back to square one.”

“Heh… I guess the good thing about being mostly organic is… that I can still remove my armor without moving a muscle.”

“Really?”

“Thank the nanomachines in my body.”

“…ah. Very interesting.”

Within seconds, the two were completely nude, their bodies intertwined between the sheets in a slow, sensual dance of soft moans and deliberate movements, their lips locked together.

 _So... the **most important part of her** is organic too. Heh... good to know. _The one-winged angel let out a long, rapturous sigh, shivering subtly. _I’m just drawn to her. Like a magnet. It must be because… I feel… **powerless** around her. And I don’t know why, but… _He moaned softly as he felt her silky touch caress his neck and back. _I find it… thrilling. To have the tables turned on someone like me this way… I could get used to this._

Tilting her head back, T-elos let out a long, soft moan as she closed her eyes and the light on her visor glowed red. _Never thought I'd ever feel anything this... breathtaking. This one-winged angel is taking me to his heaven... **eat your robotic heart out, KOS-MOS.**_

…

The two lay in each other’s arms in blissful tranquility, his head resting on her breasts.

“So…” T-elos began, “That was… nice, wasn’t it?” Sephiroth silently nodded, smiling softly.

“What’s the matter?” T-elos teased him, as if to get back at all the times he did it to her. “Looks like _you’re_ the one who’s speechless this time around…”

“Very funny…” The SOLDIER rolled his eyes. “Just… let’s enjoy this for a bit. It really _is_ a good thing we’ll be rooming together, isn’t it?”

“You can say that again,” the T-weapon chuckled.

“Hmm… wait a second…” The silver-haired swordman noticed something. “You… heh, you were wearing those glasses the whole time?”

“Wha-“

“I’m not annoyed or anything, it’s… actually impressive,” Sephiroth complimented T-elos. “And…hmm…” He ran his hand over the adjacent side of his neck where she was kissing him, even across his chest and lower abdomen, which prompted T-elos to look away cause the sight was just… _God_.

_You idiot… are you trying to turn me on again this soon?_

“How did your lip gloss not rub off on my skin?”

“You expect me to know that?” T-elos shrugged.

“Not really,” the SOLDIER snarked, prompting a brief annoyed grumble from T-elos. “Not that I’m complaining. That shade really… complements your skin and eyes.”

“Are you… calling me beautiful?” T-elos stammered. “Don’t make it so flowery. I am _so_ not one for old-fashioned courtship.”

“…Maybe.” He looked to the side, somewhat shyly. “I’m… calling you _perfect_. I mean, you called me perfect too… even if you had to add an insult to the end.”

_He… has a soft side too? Well, not as soft as you’d expect from someone like him but… ugh. He really **is** perfect and I both hate it and love it._

“Well, that’s just how I am,” T-elos replied coolly. “We’re both perfect in our own ways.”

“Couldn’t agree more.” He leaned in for another kiss when they both heard a sudden knock at the door.

“Ugh, someone _again_? At this hour no less?” T-elos griped. “At least the door’s locked this time.”

“…woah?”

It was then T-elos noticed a discernable look of discomfort on Sephiroth’s face. “…What is it?”

“That _better_ not be who I think it is.”

“’Ey, Crash!” A voice with a strange accent said from the other side of the door. “Don’t tell me you’re lost again…”

“ _...Crap._ Not him and his stupid mask friend that does the talking for him.” He pinched the bridge of his eyebrows in exasperation.

“I believe this situation requires _a woman’s touch_.”

“Heh. Just don’t utterly destroy him - Master Hand would never let us hear the end of it if that happened.”

“I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of his diatribes,” T-elos concurred, softly caressing his face before noticing something she hadn’t before. “Hold on, what’s the deal with that?”

“With what…?” It was only then Sephiroth noticed his dark wing was extended. “…Huh. When did _that_ happen?”

“Probably in the heat of the moment back there…” T-elos flirtatiously suggested.

“Your theory may not be so off the mark after all,” the elite SOLDIER humored the cyborg-android. The two leaned in for a quick kiss only to be once again interrupted by the voice of Aku Aku, Crash’s companion, outside the door.

“Really Crash, it’s getting late. You should just ask someone for directions.”

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Sephiroth advised T-elos, “I’ll take care of this. You just _shut that damn bandicoot up_.”

“Heh… don’t get your briefs in a twist, I’m on it.”

…

T-elos put her armor and extraneous clothing back on and headed to the door, opening it slightly so that Crash couldn’t see inside the room. She wasn’t about to repeat the same mistake she made with Reimu.

“Can I help you, Mr…?”

The orange anthropomorphic bandicoot grinned and waved hello.

_Ugh, I can see why Sephiroth isn’t too fond of this guy. He’s too damn happy go lucky, and he doesn’t seem to be one for words either._

“Pardon me miss,” Aku Aku spoke up. “This is Crash Bandicoot. I’m his companion, Aku Aku. We were wondering if you had any directions for our apartment complex.”

“Well,” T-elos began, “If _someone_ paid attention during their orientation, they’d know this stuff.”

“That’s… just the thing,” Aku Aku chuckled nervously as Crash looked around, making curious yet excited noises. “Crash… tends to get distracted easily, and we missed our orientation.”

Seeing Crash seemingly oblivious to her presence, T-elos sassed, “No kidding.”

Even though neither Crash nor Aku Aku could see inside the apartment, Sephiroth could see and hear them. _Crash Bandicoot… where do I even **begin** with him? His combat style is arguably one of the most unrefined things I’ve ever seen… it consists of spinning tackles and calling upon his… friend, who’s **literally** a talking floating mask, Aku Aku, to assist him. Just… how is that possible? …I don’t want to think about this too much. I need a drink._ He got up, got dressed save for his jacket, and walked over to the liquor cabinet on the far end of the apartment.

“Pardon me, Mr. Bandicoot?”

 _Welp_ , T-elos thought. _Speak of the devil… I was hoping she’d let me toy with this marsupial more._

KOS-MOS approached the marsupial and his mask companion. “My name is KOS-MOS, and I have downloaded the schematics of Smash Tower. You’ll be rooming with Sonic the Hedgehog in Apartment 205.”

 _And here she is,_ Sephiroth thought as he grabbed his glass of cognac with a single ice cube, pulled up a seat at the table near the window overlooking the city, and listened in. _KOS-MOS… T-elos’s “predecessor”. Let’s see if her having a successor truly was necessary._ He took a sip of the cognac, feeling the initial “punch” as it went down his throat and feeling his wing retract. Aside from the initial “punch”, however, he didn’t really feel different.

 _Right… I forgot, thanks to the Jenova cells inside my body, I can’t “get drunk” like most people can. Even so… it still takes the edge off a bit, so to speak._ He briefly swirled the liquor around in the glass a bit before continuing to imbibe it.

“Apartment 205… we’re on the 5th floor. Let’s head to the 2nd,” Aku Aku told Crash as the two headed off to the elevator.

“Holy shit, KOS-MOS,” T-elos taunted KOS-MOS with a dry chuckle. “ _Downloading the schematics?_ You’re such a fucking nerd.”

“Nerd?” KOS-MOS obliviously tilted her head to one side. “Is that a compliment?”

“No, you idiot,” T-elos shook her head. In the distance, Aku Aku could be heard shouting “CRASH! That’s the Elevator UP button! You want to go _down!_ ” Followed by Crash making a dismayed noise.

“Great, two idiots in one night…”

“T-elos,” KOS-MOS spoke up. “My sensors indicate a heightened level of-”

“Yes, you don’t have to finish that sentence,” T-elos interrupted the android. “I just _got laid_. Something that you, by the way, will never accomplish. Because I’m just built different.” T-elos stuck her chest out and grinned boastfully.

“I do not understand,” KOS-MOS said in her usual monotone voice. “My information database cannot define the phrase ‘getting laid’. What does that mean?”

“KOS-MOS… you. _Dense motherfucker._ ” T-elos facepalmed.

 _So far my hypothesis is right,_ Sephiroth pondered. _KOS-MOS seems… very primitive. Her combat style is impressive, being entirely mechanical and able to materialize any weapon or turn her arm into one. But when it comes to interactions… that’s another story. I might have to step in… maybe observe her a bit further._ He stood and silently walked over to the door.

“Dense?” KOS-MOS, being a purely factual-analysis-based being, had trouble picking up on nuances. “My body is made of-”

“Not _literally_ , dingus,” T-elos berated KOS-MOS. “I meant that you’re slow on the uptake to not even know what ‘getting laid’ means.”

“It is to my understanding that it’s a figure of speech,” KOS-MOS replied. “But I still do not know what it means.”

“KOS-MOS, was it?” Sephiroth opened the door slightly, prompting T-elos to look back. She felt a bit flustered but also thrilled that he was backing her up.

“About time you showed up,” T-elos muttered, winking at him.

“Salutations, Sephiroth,” KOS-MOS greeted him without a hint of emotion, just forced formality.

 _Even her greetings are stiff. …Moreover, I’m stripped to my waist and I’m not even getting a reaction from her? …Figures, actually._ “Take one look at me, and consider the fact I’m sharing the same apartment as her and do the math.”

“Do the math?” KOS-MOS inquired. “You did not list any numbers or equations.”

 _Wow, I had no idea she’d be **this** thick. I can’t help but pity whomever was initially in charge of her… _“You scanned her earlier, right? Run one on me too and see what conclusion you come to.”

“Scanning…”

As KOS-MOS scanned Sephiroth the same way she scanned T-elos, he was observing the so called “magnum opus” of Vector Industries with a slight expression of ennui on his face. _Yes. I can safely say KOS-MOS was indeed in need of a successor. She’s both literally and figuratively a machine – only crunching the numbers and strategizing in combat…not much else, unfortunately. She lacks… personality. Most modern AI, including T-elos here, feel much more human than her. And I’m sure if someone were to touch her face, it would feel cold and hard like porcelain… not interested._

“Understood,” KOS-MOS announced after her scan of Sephiroth completed. “It would appear you two have… copulated no less than fifteen minutes ago.”

 _Does she have to be so **blunt** about it? _He looked to the side in a slightly embarrassed manner, grumbling softly all the while. Meanwhile, T-elos was snickering. “Heheh… she said ‘copulated’…” She then shook her head and told her entirely mechanical predecessor, “But yes. We _fucked_.”

“Language,” Sephiroth smugly chastised T-elos, to which she griped, “You’re no fun sometimes…”

_T-elos, however… despite her innate crudeness, she truly is the perfect successor to KOS-MOS. I’m actually fortunate Master Hand stuck me with her… If the person who worked on her is still out there, I have to thank them._

“…Anyway, I’m tired,” the one-winged angel told the T-weapon, yawning briefly. “Let me know when you’re done.” He walked off in the direction of the bed.

…

Meanwhile, down the hallway, a certain shrine maiden and Vastaya observed the exchange between T-elos, Sephiroth and KOS-MOS.

“T-that’s them,” Reimu anxiously murmured, feeling the embarrassment of walking in on their… _moment_ fresh in her mind. “You know, Ahri… I actually fought Sephiroth once. He… had a very intimidating aura, slicing through my spell cards like it was nothing. And… to see him and that equally intimidating-looking woman like… _that…_ ” Her heart skipped a beat at that scandalous scene before realizing Sephiroth was still shirtless as he spoke to KOS-MOS, before heading back into the apartment. “Eep! He’s still-!”

Ahri quickly covered Reimu’s mouth with her hand and pulled her away, closing the door to their apartment as quickly as she could, hoping none of the group they were eavesdropping on noticed.

“That was close…” Reimu sighed as Ahri took her hand away. “Thanks for the save…”

“See, you have reason to trust me,” Ahri reassured the shrine maiden. “And just so you know, I’m a _Vastaya_ , not a ‘Youkai’.”

“What’s… the difference?”

“The difference…” Ahri was debating whether to tell Reimu the complex history of Vastaya, but settled with, “Is that I won’t terrorize your beloved Gensokyo. I don’t even know what that is!” She giggled.

“F-fair…” Reimu chuckled nervously, sweating slightly.

“Come on, Miss Hakurei,” Ahri consoled Reimu. “So your first day in Smash City was a bit awkward. I’m sure it won’t be like that all the time.”

“I guess not,” Reimu conceded. “And… just Reimu is fine.” She looked to the side as she murmured, “But… I still can’t help but feel like something will go wrong tomorrow… it always does when I’m around.”

…

“…and that’s why I’m superior to you, KOS-MOS,” T-elos bragged. “Because I can _have sex_. Not you, not in a million years. Unless someone’s _into that sort of thing,_ I mean.”

“I respect your choice,” KOS-MOS said in her usual robotic manner. “However, even if I could, I do not see the appeal in sexual activity.”

“You ‘respect my choice’? Stop trying to make robo-besties happen, _Kossy_. It’s not gonna happen.” T-elos sassed. “And lemme tell ya, _you’re missing out_.”

“Agree to disagree,” KOS-MOS replied matter-of-factly. “If that will be all, I will be on my way.”

“Later, _nerd_!” T-elos derided KOS-MOS. “Wow, she doesn’t even make some kind of snappy comeback like flipping the bird at me… is she _that_ oblivious?... Wait, that’s obvious. _Yes_.” She closed the door, set the lock on the knob, and staggered over to the bed before flopping onto it unceremoniously, face-first.

“I’m _so_ fucking done.”

“I’m just as… _effing_ ‘done’ as you are.”

T-elos tiredly lifted her head to see Sephiroth laying on the bed next to her, also in an exhausted face-down position.

“We’ve had our fill of headaches for one night, haven’t we, Sephiroth?” T-elos asked him.

“Obviously.” He rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling with a somewhat… pensive look on his face.

_He’s… doing it again. Showing his… gentle side? Insecurity? I can’t even read him but… ugh, why do I find this so alluring? …it’s because he’s being **honest.**_

“Is… something the matter?”

“You… called me by my name. Not some kind of petty insult.” He made eye contact with her. “Are you… acknowledging me, T-elos?”

_Why does my name sound so much nicer when he says it…?_

“If it’ll satisfy you… yes,” T-elos continued her bravado before hearing her, for lack of a better term, friend with benefits chuckling. “What’s so funny?”

“I can tell you’re still putting on this air of aloofness, of pretending not to be affected by what people say or do,” he deduced, his expression bearing a strange aura. It was teasing, as usual, but also… warm, welcoming, in his own bizarre way. As if trying to make a personal connection with her… and it was working. “But… that look on your face just now… you liked it when I called you by your name as well, correct?”

“Dammit…” T-elos complained, looking to the side in a slightly flustered manner. “Fine. Yes. For fuck’s sake, I’m just drawn to you, okay?! I feel like we’re… exceedingly compatible. And… you feel the same way about me, correct?”

“Heh. You catch on fast.” He beckoned for her to lay next to him, to which she obliged and rested her head on his bare chest. He wrapped the arm that initially beckoned her over around her, and she relaxed into his embrace. It was strong, but gentle. She knew he would only show that gentleness around her, and she savored it.

“You know… one advantage I have over KOS-MOS… is that I don’t need some stuffy recharging pod whenever my… energy runs low.” She glanced to the side, blushing slightly. “That… I get to spend the night with you like this.” She shook her head. “ _But don’t get used to this, alright?_ ”

“Whatever you say.” He grabbed one of the sheets and covered himself and her with it up to the waist. The two began to drift off to sleep when a certain voice literally boomed throughout _all_ of Smash Tower, coming from the elevator shaft:

“FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, CRASH! DID YOU _SERIOUSLY JUST PRESS EVERY SINGLE FLOOR BUTTON?!_ ”

“That idiot…” Sephiroth grumbled. “It’s going to be a long night, isn’t it…” Noticing the devious smirk on T-elos’s face, he remarked, “You seem… confident.”

“I just accessed Smash Tower’s cameras,” T-elos boasted. “Ridley and King K. Rool are on their way to… _intervene._ Hope they remember not to let loose too much…”

“You certainly are a shrewd one.” Pulling her closer, he whispered in her ear, “That’s what I find truly admirable… no, _attractive_ about you.”

“Ah…?” T-elos murmured, blushing slightly.

"That stunt I pulled earlier... seducing you like that, seeing you fall to my charm... was making you feel the way I do around you. You're _irresistible_ , T-elos. And I plan to make to make you feel that way as much as I can." He began to softly stroke her back, prompting her to shudder slightly in excitement. “To make you feel as powerless as how you make me feel.”

_Holy shit, he really is a master of seduction._

“Well,” T-elos murmured breathily, running her index finger slowly along the curvature of his spine, feeling the goosebumps form on his skin. “I make you feel… Powerless, hmm? Guess I'll have to punish you as much as I can, too. In ways only you will enjoy...”

_I won’t lie, though. I’m glad I make him feel the way he does… seeing him submissively mewling like this… it’s fucking **hot**._

“Mmmmmh… isn’t it a bit late for us to be turning each other on like this?” He asked, moaning slightly in between. “I’m tired, and so are you.”

_Killjoy… but he has a point._

“Fine…” Smiling seductively yet somewhat tiredly at him, she whispered, “See you in the morning.”

He drifted off to sleep first. As she looked at his serene slumbering visage, she thought, _Damn, he looks so… peaceful like this. It’s… strangely calming._ She snuggled closer to him, relaxing into his embrace as she slowly closed her eyes.

…

_“See you in the morning,” she said. Well… I wasn’t expecting my morning to start like **this**._

_Here I am, carrying T-elos out of the flat where the Vastaya, Ahri, and… the Bullet Brat reside. It all started when I woke up to see T-elos missing, the door slightly ajar, and… my cognac bottle empty. With **her** lip gloss on the rim. I swear I could hear a bit of… music, too. It was faint, though._

* * *

_Shortly after he locked it, a knock could be heard at the door. Putting on his coat, Sephiroth answered it._

_“Can I help you…?”_

_Standing before him was the BLADE Colonel and leader of the Reclaimers division at New Los Angeles, Elma._

_“Is this… T-elos’s apartment? I received a noise complaint from her half an hour ago, and it came from… this apartment. I’m not sure where the noise she complained about is, though.”_

_“Yes, but…” The SOLDIER glanced to the side. “She’s…. not exactly here right now. I was actually wondering if you knew where she is.”_

_“I don’t, unfortunately,” Elma told him. “Are you her… roommate?”_

_“You could say that.”_

_Noticing the bed slightly unkempt, Elma quipped, “Are you sure you’re not… **more** than that?”_

_“Kh…” Glancing to the side, Sephiroth muttered in an embarrassed manner, “…what’s it to you?”_

_“Nothing…” Elma giggled._

**_Elma, the Full Metal Jaguar. She was the savior of humanity in an alternate timeline where Earth was destroyed and humanity ended up on a foreign planet they decided to name Mira. Her combat style is very… fluid, able to switch between twin pistols and katanas on the fly. I should try to avoid getting on her bad side as much as possible, I feel._ **

_“Anyway… you… handle these kinds of reports?”_

_“Normally this would be a job for the non-Smashers, but Master Hand has offered these kinds of part time jobs to us-”_

_“TRAINERS HATE HIM!”_

_Both of the silver-haired elite soldiers bore a startled look of disbelief on their faces, with Elma eventually murmuring, “…what…?”_

_“That’s her, alright.”_

_“But… how…?”_

_“Pardon me, you two,” KOS-MOS spoke up. “Apparently, T-elos is in the apartment inhabited by Ahri and Reimu Hakurei. Follow me.”_

_…_

_The three arrived to see the Vastaya and shrine maiden huddling out of fear in a corner of their room, their stereo smashed and T-elos drunkenly staggering in place. She slurred loudly, “Great Cave Offensive? In **my** banned stage list?! I-it’s more l-likely than you think!”_

_“W-w-what is she talking about, Ahri?!” Reimu stammered._

_“I h-have no idea…” Ahri murmured._

_“Reimu? Ahri?” Elma asked the two as she entered the flat while Sephiroth and KOS-MOS remained outside in the hallway. “What… exactly happened here?”_

_Glancing at each other briefly, Reimu and Ahri then began frantically trying to explain everything, speaking over each other._

_“So Reimu was on edge after mistaking T-elos’s apartment for her own, and I thought I’d take the edge off by making her listen to some music, including some from a group I’m in-”_

_“I decided to share some music from my world with Ahri too and we didn’t even realize we were up so late and-”_

_Their voices kept overlapping until they both shouted in unison, “AND THEN SHE SMASHED MY STEREO!”_

_“Heh… don’t worry, girls, I’ll see what I can do about getting you a new one,” Elma reassured them. “KOS-MOS, think you could see what’s wrong with our friend here?”_

_“Affirmative.” Entering the room, KOS-MOS silently scanned T-elos, who seemed oblivious to her and Elma’s presence. “It would appear that she is… inebriated. To be more precise, it appears to be affecting her AI like a computer virus. She should be back to normal within 2 hours.”_

**_So… I think I know what happened. These two were blasting their music for that long, T-elos here heard it, and then she couldn’t sleep, which led to… heh. Guess I’ll have to hide my bottles a bit better._ **

_“Has science…” T-elos slurred, “g-gone too… far…?” She then collapsed to her knees and then to the floor, unconscious._

_“Allow me.”_

_As Sephiroth entered the girls’ flat, Reimu and Ahri looked on apprehensively._

_“You’re right, Reimu,” Ahri whispered. “He certainly gives… a menacing aura._ _He reminds me a bit of Yasuo’s brother, Yone…”_

_As he went to hoist T-elos up, he briefly observed Reimu’s roommate. **Ahri… the Nine-Tailed Fox. A Vastaya from Runeterra, whose magical power is tied to the latent power of that world itself. Despite her appearance, she’s… no stranger to ending lives, even though she hasn’t done it since a certain incident. I definitely shouldn’t underestimate her.**_

_After hoisting his roommate up, Sephiroth told the two girls, “I would also advise getting a clock while you’re at it.” He turned and left with T-elos in tow, leaving the two inhabitants to give each other “what just happened…?” looks._

* * *

As he made it halfway down the hallway, he heard a voice angrily calling out to him that he wasn’t expecting to hear so soon.

“Sephirooooooooooooth-!”

He didn’t even need to turn his head to know who shouted at him.

 _Of course… I almost forgot **he** was here too. Cloud. _Continuing to walk, he thought, _Unfortunately for him, I **really** am not in the mood to deal with him right now._

“I – _Seriously?!_ ” Cloud protested. “You’re _really_ going to ignore me _just like that?!_ ”

“As a matter of fact, I _am_ , Cloud,” Sephiroth sassed. “I have far more important matters to attend to at the moment.”

_There’s no doubt. Smash City certainly is… something. I’m just glad I have **her** with me to deal with it all… heh._

As Sephiroth unlocked the door to his and T-elos’s apartment and entered with T-elos in tow, slamming the door behind him, Cloud seethed, “Unbelievable.”

**_Fin_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Estuans interius  
> Ira vehementi  
> Estuans interius  
> Ira vehementi  
> S A V A G E R O T H  
> Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy  
> Hope y’all enjoyed. It got a bit longer than I was expecting but I hope it wasn’t too… extraneous. Still not sure if I did Ahri or Reimu well. I tried to make subtle references to K/DA (Ahri’s pop group in LoL) and practically every single Touhou doujin circle remix EVER, lmao.  
> Also yes, Seph’s wing popped out when… you know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) THAT’S RIGHT BITCHES I’M BRINGING THE MODEST ORGASM TROPE BACK.  
> As for their dynamic… on the lewd side, it’s canon T-elos is a sadist. Here though when it comes to doing the do, she just likes to be in control, making her partner feel… everything. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I guess you could say Sephiroth is a masochist, but not in the traditional sense. He just… likes that feeling of powerlessness. THAT’S HOT, FUCK. AND THEY’RE STILL BOTH SWITCHES. In a non-NSFW sense, he’s the ice to her fire. Ironically fitting considering he was canonically in a block of what may or may not be ice in FFVII (it’s even referenced in his classic mode image)  
> Finally, if y’all wanna see… more where that came from (hohoho), hit up the Super Smash Prose discord! The invite ID is gDK48ua.


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